Cake-tastic!

Well, so much for the New Year's resolution to blog more often! Add this one to the ever growing list of failed resolutions! With that weight off my shoulders, now I can live life more freely! Whew!

On to more exciting things! I was asked to make a cake for a friend's surprise 40th birthday party. Yes, I know 40. FORTY!!!! Makes me want to puke too! Anyways, there may have been a little conspiracy theory thing going on because I am not one who is big on the party thing. Having me make the cake was a guarantee that I would be there. Darn. Tricked again. But I digress...

So, I am asked to make this cake. 80's theme. 60ish people. Neon colors. You get the picture. Luckily in my bag of tricks (aka my cake decorating supply kit) I have some neon food coloring! I put it to good use! Here is the final result!




In case you are wondering - I take orders! :)

A Ball and a Whole Lot of Boobs!

Last night I was invited to attend a Cancer Ball. This function is an awesome fundraiser for cancer research. The walls were lined with silent auction items and a live auction that brought in at least $100,000 followed dinner. The cause being supported last night was something that I whole-heartedly believe in given that no one is immune to the effect of cancer. Unfortunately, everyone has been impacted by this disease by either dealing with it personally or because of a loved one having to battle through it. I am all for raising money for this cause.

That being said, I couldn't help but be a little distracted last night. In a room full of tuxedos and ball gowns, I don't think I have ever seen so many boobs before in my life. Old boobs. New boobs. Larger than life boobs. 60 year olds with boobs coming out of their neck. It was boob-fest 2010! I felt so overdressed! I am not quite sure what some women are thinking when they visit their plastic surgeons. Does everyone really need to look like a porn star? And do these women not own mirrors? I just don't get it.

I have no problem with plastic surgery, if anything, I am a little jealous. But really, there is such a thing as proportion. Double D boobs on a 95 pound woman is not really the best look. If your boobs enter a room 1 minute before the rest of you, I would say there is a slight problem. Can you see why I was distracted last night? Boobs everywhere!

I am thinking about submitting a request to rename the event. Boob Ball to Benefit Cancer Research or Boobie Time, Cancer Research Benefit or what about Boobs-R-Us Cancer Research Fundraiser. The possibilities are endless...

Eye of the Tiger!!!

The fighters were in their corners waiting for the bell to ring. A resounding "ding" is heard in the distance. They meet in the middle of the ring, tap gloves and prepare for battle. After dancing around the ring trying to get a feel for their opponent, the gloves start flying. Leather against flesh. Man against man....... Alright, boy against boy.

In the red corner, weighing in at 62 pounds, Tanner "T-Bone" Stephens. His opponent, in the blue corner, weighing in at 83 pounds, Mark "The Shark" Stephens.

After watching Rocky 1-3, my boys have decided that they ARE Rocky. The battle ensues. After a full round of jabbing, punching, uppercuts and even a few crane kicks for good measure, they are sent back to their corners to await the judges decision.

A draw.

However, T-Bone landed one great punch to the eye of The Shark and split him open - a feat that both were ridiculously excited about. Thankfully, a trip to the doctor was deemed unnecessary. The Shark walked away with a super cool tough guy type injury and T-bone relished the fact that he can rip apart an opponent 20 lbs heavier.

Eye of the tiger baby. Eye of the tiger.

Ch..Ch...Ch...Changes....

For the last few years, my book club girls and I have chosen a word that describes our focus for the upcoming year. Last year my word was "Trust" because I wanted to grow in my Christian walk and learn to trust God more. The year before that my word was "Truth" because I was so tired of hearing so many lies that I wanted to set myself on a path to pursue truth.

This year, given that I am in the early stages of a mid-life crisis and I refuse to look 4o when I turn 40, my focus word is "change." Not only am I talking about changing this nasty old saggy, wrinkly, droopy, hideously grotesque soccer mom body into something that could grace the pages of Victoria's Secret (my husband would be eternally grateful), I am talking about changes that go beyond that as well.

Figuring out how to go about this change is a whole different story. Going from a shar-pei puppy to supermodel is no walk in the park- just like changing the stuff on the inside that could use a good overhaul is a daunting task as well. The way I figure, I have 4 months to change the outside (vanity and gravity are very dangerous things!) and a whole year to change the inside, so I am going to dive right on in on my quest for rockstar abs and buns of steel and I will just hope that in the process, I will figure out how to overhaul the inside!

Ch...Ch...Ch....Changes......

Failing Miserably!

This is why I don't do resolutions! It is already day 7 of the new year and this is the first time I have blogged in 5 days and I have yet to change my eating/exercise/skin care habits to ward off looking like a shar-pei puppy when I turn 40. I started watching Biggest Loser for some inspiration but it inspired me to shovel down a bunch of peanut M&M's while I got comfy on the couch. (For the record, I honestly believe that peanut M&M's are a well-balanced meal - proteins and carbs all packaged a colorful little shell!)

So what is my deal??? I need some motivation. Clearly it is not coming from within so it must be something out there that I have yet to find! Maybe at Cold Stone Creamery? The local bakery? Heavenly Donuts? I just don't know! Maybe I'll be working so hard in my quest to find motivation that it will almost be like working out??? Yep, that works for me!

Perhaps that should be my new resolution - finding motivation for self-improvement. I like it! I'll keep you posted as my search progresses!

Traditions and Resolutions!

At the year's end, there are some traditions that just need to end with them! But, on a much more positive note, there are others that should just keep going and going and going!!! My favorite tradition (besides lasagna at Christmas and birthday presents at the end of the kids' beds) is kicking off the New Year with a dear friend and celebrating Barnes & Noble style! With a nice hot drink in hand a whole converted forest to stroll through, I wouldn't want to start my year any other way!

Now, as far as resolutions go - I have never really been one to make them! This year, however, I have come up with two! The first is to be a better blogger. I know, totally lame huh??? But the fact of the matter is that it really does keep family members who live out of town in touch with all things Stephens - without having to actually come here and experience the insanity!

My second resolution is to do whatever I can to NOT look forty when I turn forty this year! Have no fear, surgery is not an option here! Everything else is fair game!

So that is it. In a nutshell - keep the traditions that work. Dump the ones that don't. Start your year how you want it to end, do a better job keeping in touch and try your hardest to not age in the process!

Happy New Year!

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!

December 24, 2009 at 3:00 p.m.: Christmas Eve services at church. Everyone was given a glow stick (instead of a candle) so we could turn the lights off and sing Christmas carols.

December 24, 2009 at 8:30 p.m.: Madison is not feeling well. All three children put to bed.

Sometime between December 24th at 10:30 p.m. and December 25th at 2:00 a.m.: Santa makes an appearance.

December 25, 2009 at 2:00 a.m.: Tanner runs in to let us know that SANTA CAME!!!! He is promptly sent back to bed.

December 25, 2009 at 2:15 a.m.: Madison comes in because she has a bad headache and needs medicine. I send her into the kitchen to eat a few crackers so she doesn't take medication on an empty stomach.

December 25th, 2009 at 2:20 a.m.: I climb out of bed to find Tanner and Madison in the dark hallway. Madison is eating crackers and Tanner is scanning the area around the Christmas tree with his glow stick in hand. Madison is given her necessary medication and both are sent back to bed.

December 25th, 2009 at 6:15 a.m.: This picture says it all!


December 25, 2009 between 6:15 a.m. and 6:17 a.m.:

Tanner opened the electric scooter that Santa brought him!




Markie tore into his electric scooter!



and Madison opened the cell phone Santa brought her!!!


December 26, 2009 - Our family actually took a family picture! Yet another Christmas miracle!

I hope that in this holiday season, the blessings of family and the true reason for the season were upon you! Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year!

Swine, Swine, Everywhere is Swine...

It has been so long since I have posted here that I almost forgot how! Where in the world did the last month go??? Let's see, I haven't been hiding with my nose in a book somewhere. I haven't been partying like a rockstar. I haven't been doing anything really except soccer practice, soccer games, football practice, football games, cleaning, washing, vacuuming, repairing, driving, cooking, cake decorating, more soccer, more football, more driving, lots of baking, more cake decorating, minimal sleeping and swine, swine, swine! That is how I have spent the month since my last post!

Hopefully, things will clear up a little with soccer and football ending this week and Markie getting over his swine. Oh, wait - basketball starts next Monday and the coach has already issued the warning that practice will be held 5 days a week. It just might be another month until I write again...

M&N's Washing Machine Repair Service

One broken washing machine vs. 2 women armed only with a fix-it manual and a shoe box full of tools.

The outcome was looking a little bleak. But alas, after disassembling the machine piece by piece, these two extremely talented, incredibly handy and ridiculously attractive women found the problem and corrected it. After reassembling the white beast, the sweet sound of a washing machine spin cycle was music to their ears!

This repair birthed the new company - M&N's Washing Machine Repair Service. Please feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-ROCKSTARS!!!!

I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today!

Forget the barbecue. Forget the hot dogs. The only thing on the menu for Tanner's birthday party tomorrow is HAMBURGERS!!! And not just any hamburgers either! I am just wondering - is it possible for cupcakes to look any cuter??? I think NOT!

Alright, enough of me tooting my own horn! Here are some pictures of the hamburger cupcakes!

I am REALLY hoping they taste as good as they look!

11 Years and Counting...

Happy Birthday to my sweet Madison Faith! How 11 years have passed since you burst your way into my world - I just don't know! I am so glad for each and every minute! I love you like crazy!

In honor of my girl's birthday, here are a few of my favorite pictures!

Happy Birthday Mad Dog!!!!

Showering in Red Bull at Tim McGraw!!!

It was a GNO for my sissy and me with Tim McGraw providing the entertainment! Words cannot express just how much fun we had! Between showering in (and sharing) Tim's Red Bull, screaming our heads off and dancing like no one has ever seen before - it was a night that will not be forgotten! See for yourself!




Blowing kisses...

Red Bull shower anyone???

A couple videos for your viewing pleasure!

Sorry about Tim being horizontal in this video (get your mind out of the gutter!) - I don't know how to switch it!

Going for the gold!!!!!

Number of practice swings: 836,492
Number of balls hit on driving range: 420,687
Holes played to prepare for tournament: 900
Number of Championship trophies for the Sam Baskins Memorial Golf Tournament: 2

Number of incredibly proud parents: 2

Barbie Cakes and Rattlesnakes!

Just a typical day here in the Stephens household! Me baking cakes, Mark killing snakes!

While I was working in the kitchen, making a very cool, super awesome Barbie cake for a 6 year old's birthday - my hubby was fighting to the death with a rattlesnake. I am really happy that my hub came out the victor! Check out his lifeless opponent!

Cakes and snakes. Who would have thought these two would ever share a blog post?!!

GET IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Using skills that most golfers only wish they had - Madison and Mark hit the links for their golf camp at Gold Hills. Tanner and I tagged along! The second hole was a long par 5. Madison CRUSHED her drive. Her second shot was a vision of beauty and her third shot (from 150 yards out) landed within 10 inches of the hole - setting her up for a beautifully tapped in birdie! It was an honor (and great exercise) to watch her get her first birdie! (You know how I am with toe-touches during celebrations!)

Markie once again rocked the house! He came in as the lowest scorer - shooting better than people 10 years older than him!

Tanner was the resident ball-finder on the course. His pockets were stuffed with golf balls!

And I am one proud mama! (I spared you the pictures of the toe-touches - they are probably something that should only be heard about but NEVER seen!)

Happy 13th Anniversary to My Hubby and Me!!!

On this very day - 13 years ago - My hubby and I promised to love, honor and respect each other for "as both as we long shall live" - as my hubby so eloquently phrased it. I am so glad that those vows are still true to this day! Happy Anniversary to my sweet hubby! I love you like crazy!

Ace of Cakes

In honor of Mark's Grandma's 88th birthday - Madison designed the following cake. I took her sketches and turned them into reality. The result - a four layered chocolate cake, filled with a cream cheese/whipped topping/crushed chocolate chip cookie frosting, and topped with a generous peppering of crushed chocolate chip cookies along with chocolate chip morsels. It tasted as good as it looked - even of I do say so myself!








We celebrated her birthday with a BBQ that we will not soon forget! In the middle of this celebration, the sky opened up and released a fury of rain and hail. Obviously, this had no impact at all on our plans!

Gotta love it!

Totally Fair!

Last night was a GNO at the fair! On the schedule - a Mark Chestnutt/Carlene Carter concert, cruising booths, eating fair food and pretty much having a great time! Here are the final tallies for the evening:

Egg Rolls on a Stick: 2

Wife Beater Shirts: 284

Women who REALLY should be wearing bras: 912

Creepy man who asked me to sit on his lap: 1

Nightmares due to creepy man asking me to sit on his lap: 4 and counting

Time with friends: Priceless

Looking forward to doing it all again next year! (Minus the creepy man thing!)

NO FAIR!!!!

Alright - it really was fair! Shasta County Fair - that is! It was an evening to remember! A concert, cotton candy, a giant slide, roller coasters, animals and 1 very uncertain pony rider! See for yourself!

What a fun night!